Forgiveness or Let It Go!
Photo - Brett Jordan
Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Letting go and forgiving whatever real or imagined hurt we are nursing is the way to find peace in the moment.
The problem is that we might not realise that we need to forgive. We may not realise that our hurt, anger or resentment today may actually be a replaying of a situation long forgotten to our conscious mind but still alive and well in our subconscious.
‘Responding’ to a current situation is an elegant and adult way of living life. However, most of the time we ‘react’. We are angry or hurt because ‘somebody’ did ‘something’ awful to me. But if we hadn’t some forgotten incidences playing away in the background our ‘reaction’ may have been much less full of the fuel of anger or resentment. Today the girl on the supermarket checkout may have spent ages chatting to the previous customer while you have steam coming out your ears and a tape running in your head about how ignorant the checkout girl is, now he/she is so badly trained, is so bad at customer service. But this might not be at all what’s really going on. Perhaps your subconscious is replaying an incident when you were little and really, really wanted to get to your grannies for your Easter egg while your Mam was spending ages chatting on the phone. You are so eager to get going and feeling so frustrated because you were powerless in the situation. Maybe you tried to get your Mam to hurry, and she shouted at you to be quiet. But today, all you are aware of is that the checkout person is spending too long chatting and you … well, let’s just say you are not at your most charming.
Here are some hints which may help us all to be happier, more aware and more peaceful.
Take a few deep breaths. Breadth is one of our greatest gifts and one of the ways of coming into the present moment.
Realise that we are ‘reacting’ and not ‘responding’ to the situation and choose to ‘respond’. This takes quite a bit of practice.
Perhaps we might need to deal with our unresolved childhood issues (we all have them!) – psychotherapy might help; or some other healing modality could be helpful too.
Being willing to forgive and let go. This willingness to let go, to release the other and ourselves from the ties of our issues, may not be easy, but taking the first step of being willing to forgive gets us moving in a more helpful and healthful direction.
‘I fully and freely forgive (X). I release him/her mentally and spiritually. I completely forgive everything connected with the matter in question. I am free and s/he is free. It is a marvelous feeling’ are the first line of a forgiveness technique from Dr Joseph Murphy’s book ‘The Power of your Subconscious Mind’.
‘And Leave us serene, just as we allow others serenity’ is a line from the kabbalistic Paternoster and it kind of sums it up really. In forgiving others, we are freeing ourselves. The heavy weight of our blaming others drags us down too. In forgiving others, we are freeing ourselves too.